LOL Ermm ok ....I now know why I was told to watch out for you Cow....or is it ok if I call you Moo??

loads ******* call me moo

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Temperature Extremes
+ 20 C - Greeks put on sweaters (if they can find them)
+ 15 C - Hawaiians turn on the heaters (if they have them)
+ 10 C - Americans shake, Russians are planting cucumbers.
+ 5 C - You can see your own breathing.
Italian cars don't start.
Norwegians take a bath.
Russians drive with lowered windows.
0 C - Water freezes in America, in Russia it thickens.
- 5 C - French cars don't start.
- 10 C - You're planning a vacation to Australia.
- 15 C - Your cat insists to sleep in your bed.
Norwegians put on sweaters.
- 18 C - New York landlords turn on the heaters.
Russians make their last seasonal picnic.
- 20 C - American cars don't start.
People in Alaska start wearing long-sleeves.
- 25 C - German cars don't start. Hawaiians are dead.
- 30 C - Politicians start talking about homeless people.
Your cat prefers to sleep in your pajamas.
- 35 C - Too cold to think. Japanese cars don't start.
- 40 C - You're planning a 2-week hot tub bath.
Swedish cars don't start.
- 42 C - Transportation stops in Europe.
Russians eat ice cream on the street.
- 45 C - All Greeks are dead.
Policians really start doing something for the homeless.
- 50 C - Your eyelids start sticking when you blink.
In Alaska, people close the window in the bathroom.
- 60 C - White bears start moving south.
- 70 C - The hell froze.
- 73 C - Finnish special services evacuate Santa Claus from Lapland.
Russians wear earmuff hats.
- 80 C - Lawyers put their hands in their own pockets.
-114 C - Ethyl alcohol is freezing. Russians are unhappy.
-273 C - Absolute zero, atomic movement stops. Russians wear boots.
-295 C - 90% of the planet is dead. Russian soccer team becomes the world champion.

Lol!!!!!!!!!!!

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Group of primary one children were trying very hard to become accustomedto their first year of school.
The biggest hurdle they faced was that theteacher insisted on NO baby talk! "You need to use 'Big People' words,"shewas always reminding them.
She asked Chris what he had done over theweekend. "I went to visit my Nana." "No, you went to visit yourGRANDMOTHER. Use Big People' words!"
She then asked Michael what he haddone. "I took a ride on a choo choo." She said "No, you took a ride on aTRAIN. You must remember! Use "Big People' words."
She then asked littleAlec what he had done. "I read book," he replied. "That's wonderful!"theteacher said. "What book did you read?" Alec thought real hard about it,then puffed out his chest with great pride, and said, "Winnie the SHITE."

Good one Easy.

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A German, an American, and a Mexican are traveling in the Amazon, and they get captured.
The head of the tribe says to the German, “What do you want on your back for your whipping?”
The German responds, “I will take oil!” So they put oil on his back, and a large Amazon whips him ten times.
When he is finished the German has these huge welts on his back, and he can hardly move.
The Amazons haul the German away, and say to the Mexican, “What do you want on your back?”
“I will take nothing!” says the Mexican, and he stands there straight and takes his ten lashings without a single flinch.
“What will you take on your back?” the Amazons ask the American. He responds, “I’ll take the Mexican.”

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Controlled Aggression

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Nice one Easy. You gotta watch out for those Grandmas

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Just keep Cow away from them

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